Straight people

‘I just can’t believe you missed it,’ said Caroline as she cut into her avocado toast. ‘It was my wedding, you know? And I really wanted all my friends to be there.’

            ‘I’m sure it was still a special day without me,’ I offered, sipping my cappuccino. I’d ordered nothing else, knowing how overpriced this place was and deciding to have breakfast at home (something else which had annoyed Caroline — ‘now you’re just going to sit there and watch me stuff myself, like the fatty pig I am,’ she’d moaned, stick-thin as ever.) ‘It looked great in the pictures?’

            ‘I know, but… ‘ She glanced at the bustling Dalston street with a sigh. ‘Well, you know!’

            ‘No, I don’t!’ I took a breath. ‘Look, I may not know much about weddings and romance and… healthy relationships, but… surely the day was about you and Matt. Right?’

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Aoife

Life in London is tough. Especially if, like me, you’re single, foreign, queer, not exactly affluent. It’s tough. That’s why you need a secret weapon. A secret weapon to fall back on, just to make it through one exhausting week after another, year after disappointing year. No, it’s not drugs (although those help.) It’s your best friend.

            My best friend for years now has been Aoife. Aoife is fabulous. She can start a conversation with anyone, blag her way past any bouncer, knows an unlimited number of London life hacks, cheers me up when I’m down but knows when to tell me to shape up and stop the pity party. When I first saw her, she was slumped down drunk at a warehouse rave, with some skeezy guy trying to put his arm around her, despite her tired attempts to ward him off. I went over to them and asked if everything was all right, and she pulled me down beside her and said, pointedly, ‘this is my boyfriend’, which sent the other guy on his way. When I asked her if she was okay, she said no. Her friends had all gone and this place was full of fucking gobshites. I agreed, and joked that at least the gobshites had no gaydar; that must have been the first time in my life I’d passed for straight. I helped her get her coat from the cloakroom and order an Uber. While we waited outside by the queue, I kept up a mindless patter, thinking it might help her to sober up, listening to me there in the cool night air. I told her about my life, how I’d recently started doing stand-up, how it scared me shitless, but also felt great to tell my stupid jokes about ‘I don’t know, the misery of gay life or something.’ She was intrigued, said she loved comedy and told me to add her on Instagram and send her the details. I obliged, but didn’t think I would ever see her again after I’d sent her off in the car.

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Sick cat

We weren’t a good match, I can see that now. Picture him: Tom from Tinder, thirty-two like me, freelance architect dressed in a crisp blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, dark-haired and handsome as fuck, calmly reading on a tablet when I arrived. Picture me: Malte, Mal for short, ten minutes late, underpaid graphic designer and occasional stand-up comic, wearing an unzipped hoodie over a Joy Division t-shirt and sweaty from rushing down a sunny Dalston street. As I reached his table at the back of the long bar and climbed onto a stool with profuse apologies, he looked at me as if he not only didn’t recognise me, but was vaguely affronted I had the temerity to speak to him.

            ‘I’m so sorry,’ I babbled, shrugging off my hoodie, ‘it was one of those trains where it stops for five minutes between each station so that you can enjoy the view of… nothing… ’ I pulled at the armpits of my t-shirt where it stuck to the skin.

            ‘It’s okay.’ He gave a strained smile, snapped the tablet cover closed and set it aside. ‘Uh, I already ordered a coffee.’

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